All the Worst... Sean Avery

This guy never ceases to amaze me.
Dallas Stars forward Sean Avery has been suspended indefinitely by the NHL for disparaging comments he made today in Calgary towards Flames Defenseman Dion Phaneuf and his girlfriend. Phaneuf's girlfriend is Elisha Cuthbert, also Avery's ex-girlfriend. "I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada," Avery said on camera this morning in Calgary. "I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about. Enjoy the game tonight." This quote coming directly from TSN.ca.
After breaking-up with Avery (I assume she dumped him), Movie and TV Star Elisha Cuthbert dated New York Islanders Forward Mike Comrie before moving onto Dion Phaneuf.
Is it just me or is she simply dating guys based on their skill level? Because as the order of her relationships with hockey players stands, she has significantly improved the talent per relationship ratio after every breakup. Anyhow, that's beside the point.
Avery waited for all the camera's to turn on, the microphones to be in his face, so that he could drop his clearly prepared line. He called over the media because he said he had one thing to say... So he pre-meditaded the "sloppy seconds" line and went out of his way to make it public...?!? Pathetic.

Claude Lemieux Comeback... Come again?!

I read today that 43 yeard old Claude Lemieux plans to make a comeback to the NHL this season. What the bleep? What could possibly possess Claude ( I will refer to him as Claude from here on in to avoid any favorable comparison to #66 Super Mario Lemieux) to put a hold on his 5 year retirement to re-enter a younger, faster, and more skilled league then he has ever known?
The only thing that I can imagine that could prompt Claude to attempt, and I chose the word attempt on purpose, a comeback would be his realization that he isn't likely to be inducted into the National Hockey League Hall of Fame with his current resume. At 24 years of age, I often have to research older athletes to learn more about things like achievements and reputations, however Claude is one player that I remember clearly, but not because of his dazzling play.
I should do Claude justice and mention some of his impressive achievements before delving into why he was recently named to #1 position of ESPN's Top 10 Most Hated NHL Players of All Time list. Claude is ninth of the all time playoff scoring list, very impressive. He won 4 Cups, nice number of championships. He is one of eigth players to be have won 3 Stanley Cups with different teams, also impressive. In one of those cup runs, Claude scored 13 goals on his way to earning the Conn Smythe Trophy as the playoff mvp (one that Martin Brodeur should have won, at least in my opinion). Not a bad list of achievements.
Now for the most relevant synopsis of Claude's career. He was known around the league as the dirtiest, greasiest, and slimiest players of his time, if not of all time. (I know that slimiest is not an adjective recognized in the english language, however it works perfectly in this instance) The two most serious incidents by which Claude proved his merit as the slimiest are quite impressive. Firstly, during a scuffle with Jim Peplinski of the Calgary Flames, Claude bit Peplinski's finger.... Prompting Peplinski's famous response in the post game interview: "I didn't know the NHL allowed cannibalism..." Greasy.
The next incident was one that I will never forget. During the 1996 playoffs, Claude ran Detroit's Kris Draper from behind face first into the edge of the boards lining the Detroit bench. This was a disgusting hit, and talk about intent to injure.... This is a prime example, and did he ever injure. Draper suffered a broken jaw, nose, cheekbone, and eventually had complete reconstructive facial surgery. If you are not faint of heart, check out this youtube clip which contains a classic Claude sucker punch, followed by his hit on Draper, and the ensuing fight vs. Darren McCarty.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4W-JXDu1X-I

The San Jose Sharks signed Claude to a try-out contract yesterday... Let it be known that there is no chance that Lemieux can comeback with five years of rust build up and compete in today's fast paced NHL. The only possible explanation from the Claude perspective would be that he has a chance to receive another ring with the Sharks, who are arguably the best NHL team in this point in the season. Adding a 5th ring to his arsenal might help grease his way in the Hall.
From the Sharks perspective........ I don't know what G.M. Doug Wilson could possibly be thinking. Besides the fact that he and Claude are known to be friends, and that this type of announcement will no doubt stir up some media attention for his club, still nothing good could come of this for the Sharks. Actually wait, I'm wrong. Perhaps, Claude and Sean Avery might miraculously cheap shot each other at the same time, and if we are lucky enough manage to end each others' careers, then some good might come out of this.
A note to Claude, (who has recently started the season with the China Sharks of the Asia Hockey League the Sharks affiliate in that league) if you want to be inducted into the NHL Hall of Fame, which recognizes players who excelled in the game of hockey WHILE maintaining and adding to the INTEGRITY of the game, perhaps you should have played with more skill and integrity. If by chance Claude, you do get a ring with the Sharks this season, it won't be you who earned it and all of the hockey writer's who vote players into the Hall will know that.
Let the Circus begin.

Fighting in Hockey

The other day I was watching sports on TV, which is as close to normalcy as I will find in my life. However, this time around the topic matter seemed to be written by somebody from Bizarro World. For those of you who are unfamiliar with that term, it originates from Superman Comics in the 1960's as a planet where everything was quite strange. Using this as inspiration, the Jerry Seinfeld Show created their own version of The Bizarro World in one of their episodes. That episode became an instant classic in my books, mainly because of the way it described a completely backwards world where all the opposites became all the norms. For example, the character that represented George wasn't cheap instead being frugal, and Kramer was employed and not really eccentric. In other words, in Bizarro World everything about the show and the characters was completely the opposite of what we had come to expect.

Great episode, but anyways back to the blog at hand.

I was watching the NHL on TSN, wherein a panel of hockey experts discuss the main issues of the day around the league. The particular issue that dreary night was how to protect players when they fight....... Excuse me, I must have misunderstood?

In more detail, the commentators were discussing how dangerous it is for a fighter when he loses his helmet during a fight and gets taken down, often resulting in his helmetless head hitting the ice.....

Ok so let me get this straight, we should be concerned about players possibly getting hurt when they drop the mitts and attempt to fill each others' faces with bare fists..? Oh wait I am not quite getting it. Its not the fighting part of it, its the falling down after the fight without a helmet on that might result in injury.
So, fighting is good, but falling down after the fight without a helmet is bad. Fighting good, falling bad.... Why don't we ask the fighters simply not to fall after the fights? Or even better if they do fall, ask them to fall directly onto their faces, which have no doubt already been all banged up from the aforementioned fight.
Bizarro or what?
For piece of mind, allow me briefly play devils advocate in regards to fighting in hockey.
Fighting is and has been part of the game since its inception. Hockey is a sport that is played on sharp blades with which players fly around on at very dangerous speeds. Moreover at these speeds players hit each other on open ice or into a wall. Unfortunately, some players take liberties and try to injure the opposing teams skilled players in the process. Incidents like hits from behind into the boards, knee on knee collisions, and elbows to the head, unfortunately, happen nearly on a nightly basis in the NHL. Now, the league will often suspend players that clearly show intent in these altercations. However, the punishment rarely ever fits the crime. Exhibit A Todd Bertuzzi: He ended a carreer and only missed half a season.... Therefore, players often take the law into their own hands, closed hands, and fight whomever they think is deserving. In conclusion your Honor, fighting injures the players who injured other players and therefore is the law outside the law, a form of vigilanty justice exercised by goons.

In all seriousness though, the reality of the situation is that fighting is part of the game. A part that I do not particularly like however most fans enjoy it. Truth be told, if you go to a hockey game and a fight breaks out, many people stand up and cheer. And for that brief instance we go back to the days of the gladiators, even though we have apparently evolved. Nonetheless, true hockey fans dont watch hockey for the fighting, they watch it because it is a brand of sport that exhibits a combination of speed, physicality, and finesse that only hockey can provide. If I go to a hockey game, I hope to see hockey, and if a fights breaks out and one of the players gets hurt, that SHOULD NOT come as a surprise. On the other hand, if I go see boxing or mixed martial arts, and a hockey game breaks out, that SHOULD come as a surprise.... a good surprise.